After receiving great treatment for substance use and trauma, and being able to share healing with others working as a therapist, I grew tired of the lack of empathy and low-quality services provided to clients. I worked in both community mental health centers and in prisons, and learned that a 50-minute-hour talk therapy, maybe once a week or twice a month, and/or most canned residential or outpatient substance use programs advertised as “individualized treatment” are not addressing the core issues. (In the prisons all I had to do is see their face and ask a few basic questions ONCE A MONTH to fulfill the REQUIRMENTS of providing mental health to inmates—far from even mediocre).
About
Then, when clients do get some good (or great) treatment, they go back out into a pretty cold world to practice their new-found skills to often be rejected because they no longer really fit in—true honesty and sobriety don’t really jive with the way most of us live. Many jobs, bosses, family members, counselors, unhealthy judicial rules, prejudices, or unattainable expectations break the spirit that was sparked during therapy. Many people cringe when they think of the “touchy-feely” beliefs they have about therapy (or telling family secrets), but bottom-line is our brains and body operate on feelings and connection. Not caring about how you or others feel is against the basics of survival.
After I watched this “free” Trauma Healing webinar sales pitch in which this young woman who is not trained or licensed makes claims to have overcome trauma and has the answer to a rapid and sure-fire cure for trauma for “only” $2,999 (Regularly $5,000) I was so angry. She poo-pooed licensed professionals and praised herself. I was angry because many, many traumatized people cannot afford that kind of money, and most traumatized people cannot emotionally afford to work with someone who isn’t trained and/or licensed. I thought, “Heck I can start a program to treat trauma, make enough money to pay for more trauma healing opportunities and pay my bills, and do it for a heck of a lot less.” Thus the birth of my idea to do this.
FOOD FOR THOUGHT
Maybe the journey isn’t so much about BECOMING anything.
Maybe it’s about UN-BECOMING everything that isn’t really you, so you can be who you were meant to be in the first place.
Trauma isn’t just about rape or war?
A great tool to assess childhood trauma is the ACES Study Questionnaire. Research has found that prolonged and considerable stress during childhood can affect a person’s health and well-being for life. These stressors can disrupt early brain development as well as compromise the way the nervous and immune systems function. Additionally, an individual who has suffered from these childhood stressors included in the ACEs’ questionnaire can go on to experience the following:
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Alcohol addiction and alcoholism
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Drug addiction
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Early initiation of smoking/smoking
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Early initiation of sexual activity
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Multiple sexual partners
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STDs (Sexually Transmitted Diseases)/HIV
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Depression
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Suicide attempts
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Liver disease
Good Therapy (2021) writes a comprehensive piece about the Adverse Childhood Experience (ACE) Questionnaire. Childhood trauma and stress early in life, apart from potentially impairing social, emotional, and cognitive development, indicates a higher risk of developing health problems in adulthood.
Checklist—What can cause issues in my life?
Have you ever been sexually, physically, verbally or emotionally abused?
Did you feel like your dad or mom were safe people to be around? Were you screamed at, hit or “disciplined” in ways that made you feel fearful or like you are a “bad” person?
Look what you’ve done! You are always screwing things up!
Big boys don’t cry! You are such a cry-baby! Crying won’t get you anywhere! Stop crying or I’ll give you something to cry about!
You’re too emotional!
You’re nasty!
You don’t deserve to live!
You’re such an embarrassment! You are such a loser!
Grow up! You’re an adult now; act like one.
Pull yourself up by your bootstraps! Put your big-girl panties on!
You’re afraid of everything!
Are you wondering how crazy you really are? Wondering how crazy the world is? Wondering if there is any reason to go on? Wondering if there is a purpose in life?
Have you ever heard things like: Are you stupid? You are so stupid! What is wrong with you?
You’re just like your father (or mother)! I wish you’d never been born! You ruined my life. I wish you were dead! I wish I was dead! I should have gotten an abortion!
I hate you! You make me sick every time I look at you!
You are so selfish!
He (she) left because of you!
That didn’t happen; you are making that up!
If you say anything about any of this, you’ll end up in foster care and never see us again. If you say anything, I’ll kill your family! If you say anything, I’ll kill you! If you say anything, they’ll think you’re lying!
COUNSELORS - SELF REFLECTION
Have you dealt with your own issues?
Are you living the way you are telling your clients to live?
Are you healthy enough to love your clients without judging them?
Do you shame your clients when they make mistakes or relapse?
Do truly understand how the brain and body work, which would lead to learning therapies that are truly effective and being able to refer them out if they are not making progress?
When you do an assessment, do you fully explore both substance use and mental health issues/disorders? Do you ask the tough questions that will uncover trauma and it’s related effects? Most importantly, do you have the ability to make a client feel safe so they are able to tell you enough to understand what they need? Do you take the time to make them feel safe and welcome? Do you understand that the assessment is an opportunity to change a life? Do you make the most out of this opportunity, or do you just try to finish it in the 90-minute window? Are you doing the client justice? Do you really care?
MY STORY
Everybody needs an enemy:
unless of course you’ve made peace with yourself.
There is nothing more blind, than eyes poisoned by anger.
I had unknowingly fought the effects of trauma throughout my life, but the tornado I went through in Georgia in 2011, brought me to a new low. Through inpatient treatment and finding authors like Bessel van der Kolk, Gabor Mate, Peter Levine, and many others, I found out the truth about trauma—it changes our brain, and once we understand that, we have the power to heal and create a new real normal; Gabor Maté said that in our current society normal is actually “insane.” I learned I wasn’t just a “bad” kid or a “stupid” woman; I was traumatized, as were my parents and their parents—it’s collective and generational.
MY BOOK
This book/healing manual was written to help those suffering with trauma, substance use and other unhealthy behaviors that negatively affect them. It can also be useful to providers and those who do not understand trauma and have a loved-one who is suffering. The author has been in recovery from trauma, substance use and gambling addiction for 31 years. She has also worked as a therapist in community mental health centers, prisons and private practice since 2005. After growing tired of witnessing many clients receive shame-based, low-quality services, she set a goal to start a “trauma healing (peaceful) revolution.” Without understanding, acceptance, validation and top-notch healing opportunities, which includes efforts by society as a whole, we cannot address generational and collective trauma.
Services
I offer individuals, groups and referrals, and specialize in trauma, anger/rage and substance use healing. To start your journey, you can attend a 6-week online group that will take you through the healing manual and provide you with the possibility to address the things that do not seem right in your life. Start by clicking the button below. Thanks
CONTACT
Please complete this Contact form for more information on how we can work together. My hope is to start a trauma-healing revolution with the mantra that the pen is mightier than the sword. I have not come up with anything new; I have just been told that the information I have put together from my experiences and by the highly acclaimed experts is what they needed to learn. Let’s start this journey of healing together.